Dark Skies

Fresh off the grills, we have Scott Stewart's "Dark Skies". This film stars Keri Russell(Felicity,The Americans) and Josh Hamilton (Some bit parts in movies). It was released February 22nd 2013 and is going to be battling for horror movie of the year. Does it make a good splash? Well we'll see.

What is the plot?

The plot centres around the Barrett family. Their suburban lifestyle gets turned topsy turvey as they are visited by otherworldly beings who's intentions are unknown but, escalate to a disturbing and terrifying end. Or so it's suppose to be.

Suppose to be?

It's basically Paranormal Activity meets Signs. Honestly if you watched those 2 movies together, you'd get this movie.

Hmm... So what's to like here?

Well I have never really seen Keri Russell act before but I have to say she does a really good job. The acting in general for this movie was really good even the small part for J.K. Simmons was top notch. I also really liked the cinematography in this film. They did a really good job with the editing and the scene transitions. It really helped with the atmosphere, especially when it would go from being really light and calm, to when the mood would get dark and suspenseful. It was a very good blend and served its purpose well.

Like with Paranormal Activity this movie also does a good job of keeping you in suspense. I guess the formula is pretty much tried, tested and true.

The scene with the birds flying into the home in particular I thought was really done well. I can't get a clip but here's a good picture of what's going on.

So what is not to like?
The biggest problem I had with this movie is that it did not introduce anything new to the genre. This movie borrows way too many elements from Signs and Paranormal Activity and I thought for most of the movie it was Paranormal Activity 5 UNTIL THE ALIENS! Fuck that was so bad. The aliens look like "Slenderman" it's fucking stupid. I think part of it has to do with the fact that I don't think aliens would actually look like the stereotypical big head, small body type figure, but I thought it was dumb and that was the turning point to where I thought, this movie can fuck right off because all it needs now is Mel Gibson and it's Signs.

A little tough to see, but there is a resemblance.

What would you have done differently?
Pfff I don't know? Maybe come up with an original story? Something that isn't borrowed. Also I would have taken the whole alien thing out, cause that's retarded as shit. If you absolutely have to have them in there, I would make them look like the aliens from "Alien" at least then it would be more horrific and not fucking stupid, well it might still be stupid but at least it would have been more violent.

Final thoughts?
I wanted to like this movie a lot more, from the trailers I saw, it had lots of promise, even if they just copied Paranormal Activity I'd still probably like it more then the direction they took it. If you have nothing better to do then you could see this, mind you it's definitely a netflix selection or an online streamer, you don't want to pay to see this in theatres or on video.

2/5  fucked up kitchens

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Alternate review by You'll Never See...

Dark Skies does a lot of things right. It's not the scariest movie I have ever seen, but it leaves me with hope for the genre as a whole and it also showed me that this oft used formula (The paranormal activity formula) can still work.

What did I like?

One thing I found this movie did really well was build tension. As I have said in previous reviews, one of the true keys to horror is Don't show the creature. By not seeing what is menacing the family, they allow our imaginations to run wild. They also use atmospheric effects (Birds crashing into the house, lights going out, fuzzy cameras) to convey what might be going on. Yes, you have seen this before, but the reason you keep seeing it is that it works.

I also liked the story in general. Alien's are more in this reviewers taste, so the idea of an invasion and of a plot by the grays wanting to abduct and study really goes a long way for me. They didn't check all their facts and left out some info, but if it was for the sake of running time then this movie does not suffer for it.

Lastly I liked the casting choice of Keri Russell. I haven't seen her do anything post Felicity, but she was good her and I enjoyed watching her on the screen.

What didn't I like?

One thing I didn't like is how quickly Keri Russell's character was willing to accept her new found reality. The way she comes to the realization of what is happening seems to be out of scope with her already established character. She then spends too much time trying to convince her skeptical husband. What finally makes him believe is a little frustrating however as if what had already gone down wasn't enough to make him believe anything. I guess what I am trying to say is based on the way this movie presented itself, the culprits here could have been ghosts just as easily as Aliens.

I also didn't like the ending. It was too abrupt. I also feel like it was trying to leave itself open for a sequel (as all these films do now) that it may not get based on initial box office.

Final Thoughts?

Nobody has definitive proof of what aliens look like. There are plenty of books and theories out there, but until something finally comes down here and reveals itself, any interpretation is fine in my book. The fact that they went with one of the most accepted versions of an alien out there is totally fine in my book.

With good acting, an appearance by J.K Simmons and a good overall sense of tension being built by an unknown off screen presence, this movie has enough in it for me to recommend. You know you're going to see this formula again and likely around this Halloween, so it's nice to see them go in a different direction with it early in the year.

Dark Skies get 3.75 Felicity box sets out of 5

Here is the trailer:

Proxy: A Slender Man Story

Proxy: A Slender Man Story is a 9 minute mini movie about the "Slenderman" mythos. It was just released back on Halloween and is available on youtube. For being a short movie, it definitely makes horrific waves. It doesn't star anyone you'd recognize, but at an estimated budget cost of $10,000, the money is put to good use.

Plot

The plot centres around the main character Vince, who is haunted by visions of the Slenderman, everywhere he goes, his reality alters and before you know it, this terrifying figure is coming after Vince.

Will you stop freaking out?! I'm just trying to sell some bath beads!

What did you like?

I liked a lot about this film. It's only got 9 minutes to get it's point across and it most certainly does. You need a story that is going to be something you can understand, but at the same time, doesn't need much development so that it can through the general arch(intro,plot, conflict, etc) This story does that, it's easy to understand and its not too complicated so that it needs more then the time it has. I also thought this film was terrifying. Now given this won't be scary to everyone, some people may not be bothered by this at all. Also this is only on youtube, so for it to scare you, you'll probably want it on full screen, volume up at full and in a dark room. Sounds corny right? Would it be any different if you saw it in a movie theatre? 

The effects used in this film I thought were also well done, like the picture above, it makes it look as if the Slenderman has tentacles, but when seeing him stand in the doorway he doesn't. It's kind of like one those "You see what you want to see" type of images. Once again these guys had $10,000 to use on this film and with the editing and the effects and the general filmography, it's done very well.

Was there anything you didn't like?

The only thing that I thought was a little less effective and it's not so much that I didn't like it, but I think it hinders the scariness a bit, is how clear the "Slenderman" appears. In both the "Slenderman" film and also in "Marble Hornets" When you see the figure, he's for the most part distorted and not so clearly seen. I find this makes the scary effect more emphasized, because you can't clearly make out what you're afraid of. You can tell pretty decently but its still not clear. In this film you see the "Slenderman" perfectly, his features and more importantly his blank face. He's still pretty fucking creepy but, because you can see him a lot clearer, it loses some of the effect that your imagination does to fill in the rest.

What sets this film apart from Marble Hornets and the Slenderman movie?

All 3 of them are very similar and portray the "Slenderman" pretty much the same way. The differences that set them apart however I find are important. In "Marble Hornets" the figure is referred to as the "Operator" and he doesn't kidnap and devour children. He is a figure that randomly shows up and usually stops the main character in his path from being able to uncover the mysteries that surround. As if he were a guard, guarding the door to the answers they seek. He is used more as an instrument if you will. 

In the "Slenderman" film, he is exactly as what the mythos portrays him as. A mysterious figure who devours children. The main idea of that movie, is to play out what the internet meme makes of him.

In "Proxy" He is the same character as in the film above, except the story has a slightly different take on him, one which I find almost kind of blends both "Marble Hornets" and "Slenderman" together, but at the same time is different. With different movie creators, you get different ideas and that is the most important thing, that sets them apart. I'd say in this one, there is much influence used, but still as a fresh look.

Final thoughts?

This film is definitely worth checking out. It's only 9 minutes so what have you got to lose? Could they have made it any longer then 9 minutes? I'm sure they could have, but they may have needed a larger budget for what they were doing. Also given what the story was, it would have needed to be more developed. So when you take that into account, sure it could have been longer, but would it have been as good? Maybe yes, maybe no. If you're truly a horror fan, you should see this.

4.5/5

No trailer, but here is the 9 minute feature.

The Slender Man

2013
78 Minutes

The internet is a powerful tool. One use I like in particular is it's ability to spread urban legends faster and more creatively than ever before.

I find the Slender Man to be one of the best. More after the jump.

Encarnação do Demônio

Embodiment of Evil

2008

94 minutes

The evil one is back. After 40 years locked in a prison, Coffin Joe returns to continue his quest. Will he be successful? More after the jump.

Final Destination 2

Well it's been about a week with no reviews and I was bored one night so I decided to watch this movie. I'm sure most people have seen "Final Destination 2" or at least one of the 5 installments. To me this movie has two types of people that know about it. The first are those who have seen it and probably regret watching it and the second are those who know about it, haven't seen it, but maybe should see it, so they know they didn't need to see it. Does that make sense? This movie goes back to 2003 so its not anything new, there have been some ones that came after but, if you've seen one "Final Destination" you've probably seen them all.

So what's the plot?

So for those of you who missed the 2000's, lived under a box, or maybe were too young for these types of movies, the plot is essentially this. A Young girl has a premonition about her death in a major freak car accident on a highway involving several others as well. She ends up saving their lives by preventing the accident only to find that if it's your time to go, then it's your time to go. Death will find you..... Spooky eh? Well not really.

That sounds retarted, who would watch this shit?

I know right? We're always talking about people with too much time on their hands and how that goes hand in hand with bad movies. In this situation I fell victim to that. If you like any of the "Final Destination" movies then you won't have a problem with this, also if you like movies that tend to leave you laughing at how fucking stupid they are, then once again, this one gets a nod.

So is there anything to like here?

Well some of the death scenes, though stupid can be at times pretty funny, especially the few moments just before leading up to them. A.J. Cook is also really hot. There is some entertainment to be had in the movie. This film is also made here in Vancouver and it does a good job of showing off how beautiful the landscapes of BC are. So I have to give it a thumbs up for it making here look good.

So honestly how bad is this movie?

Oh it's total garbage, the acting is terrible, its not suspenseful at all, because everything that is about to happen you can see it coming. There's no sex scenes, there's nothing scary here. Actually wait that's not true, what is scary is how accurate they depict people who drive here, as shown in the big giant car crash in the beginning. That is a bit scary. Everything about the movie was just so predictable that it just doesn't have any effect. Plus I mean the main premise is because they cheat death, now death is coming after them one by one? How stupid is that. I can just picture death from "Family Guy" coming after these guys and going "Well you see guys, you were suppose to die in this big ass car crash but, because you didn't, well you've upset the balance of life and death and well I don't get paid very much for this gig so I have to collect whenever I can." Just garbage.

Please don't kill me with the new colgate total.

Look out Mr. Bill!

OH NOOOOO!!

Phew! That was close!

Fucking airbag!

Uh huh.... So this is pretty bad. Anything you could do to make it better?

Why yes there is in fact!Don't make it so fucking predictable! Also if you're going to make a series of 5 movies of this, at least put some more effort into the acting and not make it seem like such a big steamy dump.

So what do you give this piece of shit?

1.5/ 5  Grim reapers

Here's the trailer

My Son, My Son, What have ye done

2009
91 Minutes
Directed by Werner Herzog



This is going to be a bit of departure from our usual affair here on the scroll.

I watched this movie without the intent of reviewing it. After watching this film, I feel it presents a horror that is all it's own.

Werner Herzog describes this movie himself as "a horror film without the blood, chainsaws and gore, but with a strange, anonymous fear creeping up in you." I feel that this is definitely an apt description. Now here is what is important about this film. This is a collaboration between David Lynch and Werner Herzog. It just so happens that in my world, this is the kind of duo that I could only dream of. What I watched in this films 90 minute run time was something I've felt that i've seen quite a few times and at the same time never before.

Whats the Plot?

Pretty straightforward, two homicide detectives get a call to check out a murder scene. They are told within about 2 minutes who did it and where he is. It seems a son has stabbed his mother with a sword. What follows for the rest of the film is the unraveling of the crime and why it was committed.

So why did I like this film so much? And how does this fit in with horror?

I'm going to try and not go off on a tangent here, but there is something under the hood of this film that I don't even think a lot of critics saw. I'm going to do this list form:

#1 - Michael Shannon. I've honestly never seen a film with this guy in it that I am aware of, but now that i've seen this, i'm going to be seeking some of his films out. The character of Brad as portrayed by Michael goes through a descent into madness that is absolutely terrifying. When he is talking to characters you see his eyes almost pop out of his head. When he is listening, you can see that he is absorbing every word that the other characters are saying and is contemplating how to act on it. His craziness is absolutely chilling and the nature in which he runs his mother through(which you don't see) is mind boggling. It's an outstanding performance and I honestly think it was award worthy.

#2 - The David Lynch and Werner Herzog connection. I did some research and it says that David Lynch didn't really have an influence over what Werner did. I absolutely don't think this could be the case unless David presented Werner with some special kool-aid and Werner took a huge sip. This almost seems like David made the film and left Werner with it to de-construct and help us make some sense of it. I've seen people saying it still makes no sense, and there are parts with little connection to the film - such as the scene in China that was filmed guerrilla style with no permit while Michael Shannon wanders through a crowded market.

Other scenes though make sense in a greater context. Luckily youtube is able to provide you with a shining example:

Now, if you haven't seen this movie - you wouldn't be blamed for watching that and saying what the fuck? In the greater scheme of things though I think this is a scene with a lot of meaning. I mostly want to highlight the end bit, where they stare in to the camera. The music selection, the midget in the background, the looking off camera for a moment. Some would say this is weird for the sake of weird, I say it's majestic and terrifying. I also say this is pure David Lynch.

#3 The supporting cast:

Willem Dafoe - Good as always, playing a surprisingly removed homicide detective who doesn't seem to see the absurdity in any of this

Chloe Sevigny - Distant, but it works. She was watching the descent into madness and could not stop it
Udo Kier - Patient, has a scene with an ostrich which is very funny
Brad Dourif - I'll just leave you with the clip below

It's definitely the usual bunch, but they all turn in good performances. The use of Grace Zabriskie is where I see another Lynch influence.

# 4 - The way the movie is constructed - I liked knowing what happened really quickly into the movie. Looking into the why for the entire movie was very interesting and good character study. I don't even really like "Cop" or "Murder" movies but flipping the genre on it's head was a good choice and the movie really benefits from it.

Who would like this movie

-Lynch Fans
-Herzog Fans

Who wouldn't like this movie?

- Probably everyone else

I was really struggling with how this movie could have such mixed reviews. 6's and 5's are the order of the day when it comes to this film. Looking back, It kind of goes along with how Werner Herzog has always been. If you get it, you get it - if you don't, you don't. He quite frankly doesn't care. I can at least say that the last time I was moved by a film like I was this one, was Fitzcarraldo, another Herzog masterwork.

Final thoughts?

I could honestly make this review pages and pages long by dissecting certain scenes that I thought were amazing.

The main thing I want to leave anyone reading this with is that this film was more like an experience than a film. It held my attention and wouldn't let it go. It hasn't even left my head since watching it. If you're a fan and you haven't watch this yet, you must. 

If you aren't, maybe it's worth a shot too - it might open you up to a whole new realm of film

6/5 (Yep, I wen't there.)

Trailer:

Area 407

Here we have our final review of Random Netflix Week Dale Fabrigar and Everette Wallin's "Area 407". This movie has 2 directors?! No wonder it sucks, but we'll get to that in a sec. This movie was released in 2012 and was never a blip on the radar screen, for good reason.

This was actually going to be a video review but I had to get a new neck so I've decided to type this up instead. 

So..............

What's the plot?

Well after surviving a plane crash in the middle of nowhere, a group of people must find a way to get help  and back into town. Meanwhile one of the other filmmakers must have had a brain fart because he was like " Well lets make it so they have to escape from a............. Wait for it.................. Wait for it......... A FUCKING DINOSAUR! Are you serious?! Well I suppose this is definitely a horror movie alright, I'm scared to give this movie anymore of my time.

I slept with the director and look where it's gotten me!

Clearly it sounds like there's a lot to not like about this movie.

Clearly. It's basically 90 minutes of little girls screaming. I thought I was going to go deaf! The chic in the picture up there, is the most annoying fucking brat, you learn to hate her right off the bat. The characters are all forgettable, except for this bitches whining of course. I wasn't a fan of the fact it was filmed via handheld camera either. Don't get me wrong I like movies like that, but this one I didn't know was going to be that way and I wasn't in the mood for it, not too mention its quite disorienting at times. 

It looks like someone took the poopiness of "Jurassic Park 2" and the disorienting camera of "Cloverfield" mashed them together and added a plane crash. Oh wait don't forget the military cover up. 

Isn't that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford?

Would this movie scare anyone?

Anyone who is afraid of crashing in a plane and then having to escape dinosaurs. 

Is there anything positive going for this?

The best part of this movie is the end, too bad it takes 89 minutes to get there!

The use of blood in the movie was alright.

There is some suspense to it.

Who would you recommend this to?

Anyone who just survived a plane crash.

Anyone who is terrified of flying.

Anyone who has too much time on their hands.

Who would you not recommend this to?

Anyone who is not listed in the above.

Final thoughts?

Instead of having these people survive a plane crash and run from dinosaurs, I would have made them survive a dinosaur crash and then have to run away from airplanes. Then for no reason it turns into space porn.

Just because you could make a movie about anything, doesn't mean you should.

Netflix Week, gets 2/5 in terms of good movies to bad ones. If you don't know what you're watching I'd say those are the odds you will find a good movie to watch on Netflix.

2/5 Yoshi's pooping an egg

Here's the trailer!