Thursday, November 8, 2012

2 Heads are better then one?


Oh dear...... Here we go! This movie is soooooo baaaa... Oh wait, ok let me explain the movie first!
It Starts off with a group of college students who venture on an expedition out at sea, to study the world of marine life and the splendors it holds. While out in the middle of the "ocean" (you'll see why I put quotations later) a big dead shark gets trapped under their boat and breaches the hull, causing them to lose power and become stranded out in the middle of nowhere. A group of the students are forced to take the lifeboats and venture to a small little island where they search for supplies and assistance, while a small team stays on board to attempt to make repairs. As you might have guessed, whatever killed the shark that got stuck under their boat has now come upon a smorgasbord of people to chomp on and now the group must survive this menace! Headed up by an "all-star" cast, this movie features Brooke Hogan, Carmen Electra and Charlie O'Connell, who is brother to the equally irritating Jerry O'Connell.

Listed below are the notes I took while watching the movie, at first I was going to write an elaborate review with likes and dislikes and what not, but I honestly believe these notes will say it all. Keep in mind there are spoilers in here so if you don't want to be spoiled(I don't think you can spoil an already dumb movie) then don't read the notes. Again there are ** SPOILERS**

-Bad acting

-Jerry O'Connell's brother looks exactly like him and he's just as irritating.

- Horrible dialogue

- There is one scene where these 2 girls scream simultaneously and I just about lost my shit laughing so hard. 8 and a half minutes in.

- This would be a porn if it wasn't a "horror" movie

-Ok so first these characters are fucking stupid and then they start getting scientific.....Riiiiiiight, smart morons?

-There is a guy who is the I'm guessing Spanish version of Quint from Jaws.

-Carmen Electra is horny and she wants to fuck this other chick, also while everyone is looking at this big dead shark, she is just smiling and showing off her boobs. I'm only 10 mins in....

- Whoever did the film editing for this sucks, they go back and forth between the propellers under the boat and the people on it and it looks like the propellers are coming after them.

-Oh by the way the sharks roar like lions.

-This movie has your typical nerd character, he's one of those genius types you probably should listen to, but instead he just gets ignored.

- So for some reason the island these guys get stranded on is sinking.

- You can tell the shark attack scenes are mostly CGI'd or filmed against a green screen, after every attack the scene goes dark and then shifts to somewhere else. You can tell where they stop recording.

-I will say the women in this movie are smoking hot and they all have nice boobs, even old bag electra is pretty good looking in this. What? I have to say something positive about this movie!

-The one liners are sooooooo bad! I can tell these guys must have had a really fun time filming this though. It's really bad but obviously that's what they are going for....Wait....What?! They were going for serious and intense?! Who the fuck are these idiots!?

- You can tell they didn't film in the same body of water. one shot shows it as choppy seas and the one where the boat is actually in the water, it's like glass. One is salt water and the other is freshwater.

- Oh shit this black guy just got pwned!

- Ok there is this one scene where the remaining survivors are planning what they are going to do and the whole thing is just shot so bad. Everyone waits their turn to say something, its like they are speaking on queue.

-2 headed shark..... Double the terror!...  Double the bimbos!....Double the stupid!

-Somehow the shark can create tsunami's?

-Charlie O'Connell and Carmen Electra are killed in an epic Michael Bay like way.

-Brooke Hogan who turns out to be the unsung hero, is terrified of water, yet her fear never seems to get in the way of when she has to go in.

-"knock, knock....Who's there?......TWO HEADED SHARK!!!!!"

-Ok so this shark has the power summon tsunami's and obliterate boats, but it can't bust through a riggidy old shed to get the remaining survivors?!


-The End!

So after reading those notes you can make the decision to see it or not. It's a dumb B movie and if you're a fan of dumb B movies, you'll probably get a kick out of it, if not then maybe you won't, either way its not the end of the world if you don't see this movie, but it could be the end of 87 mins of your life! muahahahaha

So what do I rate this movie? 2 heads out of 5!

Here's the trailer!:

For more info on 2 Headed Shark Attack click here:

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